Beauty is Bones

I think it is so thoroughly pathetic that I would get banned from a pro-ED website.
Realistically, pro-ED websites are sadistic. People get on there and make it their whole life. I used to.
It is like a cult. A sad, painful cult. I can understand why the media portrays them as a bad thing.
I honestly feel bad for the people who go on that site. They don't stand a chance to get any better by being there. Only worse.

It's raining but I need to do a workout
I am crawling in my own skin
ughhhh
god help me find a workout
yoga yoga yoga yoga
yoga for like 4 hours
yoga until I can't breathe
yoga is all I can think of
GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

Well I hate ana. I know that I am going to die. It sucks. I just can't stop though. Ah well.

Since there are no such thing as calorie-free solids, I shall stick to gum and liquids ONLY.

2468 failed...710 calories today already!!!
I'm a FATASS
Why am I too fat to even go a day without 
stuffing my fat stupid face
than throwing it back up

uhhhhh
I'm so pissed right now
I probably gained 3 lbs.

I have so many mosquito bites, it's ridiculus! I know that calmine lotion stops the itch but I have no way of getting any of that right now. Any other ways to stop the itch?!?! It is CRAZY how many of these damned bites I have got. And I don't even know where they came from!!!!

sorry, my last post should say gw#3-90lbs.!!!!

Just testing somethin!

So I had to stay at the psych unit in the hospital for the past week :(

Good news is, the whole time I was there all the guys were telling me how pretty I was :)

And one of them was extremely cute and spent my whole time there talking with me and flirting (without touching, there was a no-touching policy).

But now I am home and I only gained like 4 pounds because I flat out lied to my doctors.

Lots of Love!!!

PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!

I'm so scared of recovery. Can someone who has been in inpatient maybe explain it to me? If you comment I can give you my email address and you can email me or just explain it to me in a comment. I'm very scared, I'm actually considering running away so that I don't have to go. Please, I am very scared, I am actually throwing up and having weird convulsions. 

Please pray for me

This is an awkward question so I am going to put it under cut but I really want answers so yeah! 

Is it weird that I naturally don't eat over 400 cals a day? A bad day for me is like 350. I'm losing weight like a mad woman, I'm already at my 1st goal weight so I am trying to go lower...I wish that I still wasn't so freaking flabby :/. 

I would post pics of myself but I lost the cord for my camera lol so I can't...maybe I will look for that today.

Ever since I lost those last 3 lbs. I have had no motivation...I lay around sluggishly and just feel shitty...I don't get it, I'm 95 lbs. now, I should be happy, I reached my goal...but I just am not. Most of the time I just lay around and I'm even on prozac to try to make me less sluggish but it won't work. And I cry alot.

Does anyone else feel this way? It just feels so...wrong. It all feels so wrong.

So yesterday we had a work party where there was food and I didn't want anyone to get suspicious so I ate...

Than during a presentation I excused myself to purge.

A girl I work with noticed that I was gone for a little while so she came to find me and walked in during my purge. Than she started to talk about her concern and blah blah blah (this girl and I are really close...she isn't just a random co-worker)...

Than my boyfriend said that he missed my old body because I had a nice chest and some junk in the trunk and he said that he doesn't want me to be fat just healthy...

Why are people getting in my bussiness?

It's my life and I want to be thin...Why can't peole at least try to support me instead of being completely against the idea?

Ok my day has improved since this morning when my dad was sucking.

First thing I did: bought a new scale. And that beautiful new scale told me I am 99lbs!!!! ONLY 4 POUNDS TILL I REACH MY 1ST GOAL WEIGHT!

And than I made a discovery. I was leaning toward going on a binging cycle, so instead I went for a walk (where I bought my beautiful scale) and curved the binge! I was so excited that I had to share that with the whole world!

Oh my lovelies, just remember that nothing can stay bad forever. I hope all you gorgeous ladies & gents have a wonderful day!